Birthdays

We celebrate all 3 of the kids' birthdays between November 27, and January 31.
Lots of families have that non-stop birthday bonanza like us.
After I became a mother, I understood the deep significance of birth days.
Maybe as much for the mother as the child.
So, I like to make birthdays special.

Elle had her first friend party.

Then we went to my in-laws for Thanksgiving, and she celebrated there too.

Then we returned home and it was her actual birthday and so we celebrated again.

Jia, since she is only 2 and friend-limited, had one party.
Just the 5 of us.
She was happy. We were happy.

(I adore this picture even though it's not topnotch. She is so psyched to have that ladybug helmet!)

Henry is exceptionally relational.
Since he didn't have preschool on his actual birthday, we invited some friends to celebrate with us.

Then his grandparents came and we celebrated some more.

Then we had a pool party for him and 10 or 11 friends.
(I left the camera at home.)
One child at Henry's party cried when he found out I didn't have goody bags.
His mom is a good mom, I know.
He's just been trained by expectation.
No judgement.
But it is revealing.

Parenting is a process.
For me it is.
Honoring my children matters to me.
Yet, through this season I realized that we overdid the birthday attention this year.
Seriously.
I googled how much parents spend on children's birthday parties.
Wow.
For a larger party, when all is said and done, about $200-$300.
Yeah, (sigh), sounds about right.
Some of the links were shocking. shocking!
40k for a 6-year-old party, and she even got a car!
What?#@#%$?!!

The world's wealth is sorely unbalanced.
Occupy Wall Street's tagline is "We are the 99%," (right?)
My friend Julie pointed out that on the world scale,
we're the 1%, and the rest of the world is the 99%.
Thought provoking...

I'm not suggesting depriving our kids.
I just want to make wiser decisions.
Invest the extra $100 or so into a college fund,
or feeding an orphan for nearly a year.
In the process I hope Henry, Eliana and Jia develop character that values the giver more than the gifts;
that understands who they are and what they have are utterly separate
I'll have to be patient.
It could take 30 years, or so
I too am a work in progress.
I too need to learn these same lessons.
My birthday is coming up...

Xmas card pics

We never got around to printing and sending out family xmas cards this year.
Steve's clients got their goodies though, and that felt like a vital feat.
I took some amazing shots of the kids.
If you scrolled through them consecutively, it's a slow-motion movie.
Anyway, here are some of my favorites.
Happy New Year!

Eliana getting Jia ready...

Henry wants to kiss his princess...

 Eliana is not persuaded....(love that!)

Come on, it's Henry, your brother!

Lu(cy) wants in on the fun...

 She does it her own way...

Elle is patient...

If I had sent just one to family and friends, it probably would have been this last one (below). This picture represents the kids pretty well- dressed up, ornery, with the dog by their side. But, it's not the norm. The norm is all the others--the interruptions, the negotiating, the making up, the unseen (jia was playing with stickers in one shot--they eventually ended up on her cheek). 

So often I find I have a one-dimensional view of myself and others. I believe my life should go a certain way, assume that others' do. Much of the true living, the true, hard and ugly loving goes unseen, untouched, silenced. For myself I've decided to talk about it more. Talk about the so-called weeding, and tilling, and the work that goes on in the winter, as the soil rests.  For now, here is one beautiful moment with Henry, Eliana and Jia.